Saturday, February 5, 2011
Illness and Inspiration
I have Grave's Disease which means I'm occasionally a crumpled, trembling mess who can't lift her arms high enough to scratch her head without crying out in pain. I won't even mention what a blubbering baby I've been while trying to sleep on my aching shoulders. Laying on my back or front is impossible because my goiter is so large and restrictive it feels like I'm wearing a tight turtle neck that I can never take off! Any additional pressure on my throat is out of the question.
I've been back on anti-thyroid meds for 12 days now so I'm just putting in the time waiting for them to bring my hormone levels back down into the 'normal' range.
I haven't been able to make any jewelry because of shakey hands and double vision. I'm also back on the beta-blocker propranolol which has helped calm the racing heart and hand tremors. My vision is getting a little better each day so maybe I'm not going blind like I feared I was a few days ago.
So what have I been doing all this time besides feeling sorry for myself? Surfing. Surfing the net looking at jewelry, and individual beads in particular. I also pulled out and dusted off all my polymer clay books and I've been thinking. Thinking a lot about my goals. I've started playing with my clay again. I've been going away from it then coming back to it over and over for the past 4 years.
It's the only material that I can create with that won't cause injury to my fragile and hurting body right now. No heavy tools, no hammering needed, no torch that I could drop if my hands get shakey. I think I'm going to stay with the clay for awhile this time and see where it takes me.
Ronnie is the jewelry designer at RadianTrace Jewelry. She's also the graphic artist at Mable's Makings, and the author of Ronnie Unplugged.